Now that I have initiated the process of establishing myself firmly in the dreary, lack-lustre land of no- return called the "aunty zone", I might as well get on with making my point about the vast, almost immeasurable difference between kids of today and us at that very same age!
A few days back in the midst of my evening walk, I came across 2 boys, barely ten, walking in front of me, having an argument. One yelled at the other "Man up!! You gay or what?". I almost had a heart attack. Don't get me wrong, I am no timid little wallflower, as my husband's school friends, (a group of Bihari men, mind you), who had to concede defeat to me in the 'Who can abuse how much' challenge, will tell you. But I cannot remember any ten yr old I knew at school talking like this. Hell, with a strict Catholic school upbringing, I didn't even know words like these existed till I entered graduation!
Just when I was getting over the shock of this, I came across a few little girls in the condo playground, barely 5- 7yrs old, wearing makeup. When I say make-up, I mean the works - rouge, eye liner, mascara, hair colour et al. Apparently it was someone's b'dy and the parents had hired a make-up person to entertain the girls! (I am trying hard here to not comment on what kind of a parent would indulge in an act so glaringly dim-witted!) As I stood watching these girls, I shared my shock with the dad of one the Vs playmates, who looked equally horror struck. The poor guy just shook his head & said, "For once aren't you thankful you have 2 sons? Atleast you won't have to stop them from wearing make-up when they should be playing with dolls". Later as I shared my outrage as an update on my FB page, I heard from friends that apparently what I witnessed was not a abomination but a very common phenomenon today!
Anyways, the post is not about little boys using the "F" word or little girls dressing up as some horribly freakish version of Barbie meets Hannah Montana. It is about money. And its about how flabbergasting and at the same time, terrifying it is to see how quickly kids of today discover the power of that all powerful, thin rectangular strip of paper!!!
About 3 months back, when he was just 18 months old, V2 (who by the way still can't say Yes) started using a new word - "Numanum". It took me a while to realise he was talking about the contents of my wallet. And quickly to my part horror, part amusement, I discovered what V2's associations with Numanums (money) were.
First, that Numanums always followed a one way traffic. They always left my wallet & went to other people, esp to our help, Tess. How astute of V2, I thought, since my favourite adage w.r.t. to money has been, "Money talks to me. It keeps saying goodbye"!
Soon I was being forced to play villain and intercept V2 as he would go opening my cupboard, taking out my wallet, and very generously handing the cash in it over to Tess or anyone he took a shine to. And mind you, he never touched plastic or bills or anything else in my wallet. In true V2 style, he went for the jugular, which in this case was nothing less than a $50 bill! (No, I am not rich! Its just that after having my wallet snatched in Jakarta and my debit card used, I am more comfortable carrying a basic amount of cash. Saves a lot of unnecessary expenditure that a shopaholic like me would otherwise incur)
The next association that came soon along was that they are like magic beans. When you put them into the dispensing machine downstairs, it throws up those extremely exotic looking "Jooos" (V's slang for a drink). And even though they are only allowed to hold the cans and not drink from them, the whole process of feeding in the money and hearing the loud thud and seeing a can falling out is as exciting for them as watching the great Houdini perform a disappearing act would be for us!
Now every time I take my wallet out to make a payment, the V duo have taken to insisting on dragging me to the dispensing machine so we can feed in the 'Numanums' and make great thuds and generate cans of "jooos"!
So after about 3 months of watching V2 take 50 dollar bills out of my wallet and give them to Tess or snatch $50 bills from my wallet in cabs and hand it over to cab drivers, (V2's favorite people on the planet since they sit behind a wheel and drive), I decided it was high time I gave V2 a wallet of his own. And I found a brand new, shiny, flowery wallet I had never used and with great fanfare, gave it to V2.
Suddenly to my astonishment, I find the wallet is thrown on the ground with great disgust and there are loud "No!" "No!" "No!"s happening.
"What's wrong baby?" I ask.
V2 stops howling just long enough to look at me with a soul melting "Et tu Brute" look in his eyes.
I rack my brains to figure out where I went wrong. As far as I can tell, I did nothing to offend his Royal Fanciness.
"What do you want?" I ask, "Stop crying and show me".
At which point V2 gets up, goes to my cupboard, takes out my wallet and takes out a $50 bill!
I had committed the grave crime of giving him a wallet with only a $2 bill!!!
As I laugh indulgently at V2's antics, a tiny part of me realises with a pang, just how untouched and naive we were as kids, compared to the children of today, who are now a whole new breed of street smart, sophisticated and scary. Today they seem to be in such a rush to grow up, grow out of the innocence of their childhood. Gone are the days of climbing of trees, of the stealing of fruits from the neighbour's garden, of making nimbu pani and pretend selling it on lazy afternoons, of raiding grandma's pickle jars, of the enacting of plays on summer holidays. Now what are left with is little clones of Justin Beiber or Hannah Montana.
And I wonder how long it will take for my little boys to be all grown up and all knowing and join this circus ..............
to your last qn: 6 more months I would say.. mark my words... :)
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