What a tragedy!!

There have been 3 occasions in my life when these words have evoked more angst than customary - first when Princess Di died, second when I discovered Rupert Everett was gay (a colossal tragedy!) and now today after I watched Mani Rathnam's Raavan. (If I watched sports, there would be many more but I don't, so we shall make do with 3 for now)

Raavan is a tragedy in more ways than one - the tragedy of the protagonist's life is overshadowed far, far heavily by another, greater tragedy - that of a colossal waste of an opportunity to create ground breaking cinema!!

At the risk of committing blasphemy, I have never really enjoyed the original epic too much - its a far linear story with unidimensional characters as compared to the Mahabharata. Also it is far more dated as compared to Mahabharata which never loses its au courant status, no matter what day or age.

Mani Rathnam's story on the other hand, starts with a premise that has immense potential - a Ram who is not all "maryada purushottam", a Raavan with a heart of gold who is willing to sacrifice himself for his lady love and a Sita who is torn between her savior and her captor - a riveting tale of characters with depth and shades of grey, told in today's context - all the makings of a plot par excellence. However, what looks good on paper, doesn't translate into it on screen. The story is disjointed, the characters are not well fleshed out, leaving you hugely disappointed, irritable and at times plain sleepy!

Raavan, the protagonist, is the biggest disappointment - the king of Lanka, who inspired the role, was a powerful, learned man, feared by men and Gods alike, whose lust for Sita became his Achilles heel. Raavan the movie guy on the other hand, is part buffoon, part insane; perpetually covered in a mud pack of some sort, and who due to some speech impediment, breaks into gibberish every time he has to emote some powerful emotion!! In his role as Robin Hood meets Raavan, he does not evoke even a twitch, leave alone terror!!

Vikram on the other hand, is a smoking hot Ram - however let down by a weak role where all he is required to do is snort and glare furiously at Raavan - the real life one or his photo! Having said that, he has charisma and a formidable personality and will fit Raavan's shoes far better than AB Baby, in the Tamil version.

And poor Ash, our very own Desi Barbie - she really slums it out in this one - no make up, covered in some combination or other of blood, dirt, mud throughout the movie, gets pushed around, slapped, starved, cries and shrieks and yet she leaves you totally devoid of sympathy and feeling very very bored! (I fail to comprehend why otherwise brilliant men like Rituporno Ghosh or Mani Rathnam insist on casting her in roles that are light years away from her capability - her Binodini in Chokher Bali was a crime against cinema!!!)

The pivotal scenes where Raavan and Sita are drawn to each other are a joke - saying that the chemistry is nonexistent, would be charitable!!

The dialogues are so pathetically done, they end up being hilarious!! There is a moment when after her rescue, Sita asks Ram, "Why did you come, for him (Raavan) or me?" - it is supposed to be poignant and charged with emotion. However the dialogue and ( Ash's acting) turn it into a huge joke and you can hear the theatre break into guffaws!!!

On the other hand, the cinematography is sheer poetry - some of the shots are beyond breathtaking - for instance the scene where Raavan's boat capsizes Ash's petite canoe, the ruins in the forest, the stunning backdrop of the supposed romantic lunch dinner date between Ram and Sita, the waterfalls, the swamps... each one is more beautiful than the other. Infact there are times, you wish you had a giant duster and could wipe away the ineffectual characters and just focus on the breathtaking scenery!!

Finally for A.R.Rahman's music - the maestro seems to have watched one too many Ramleelas; thus we are inundated with songs every 5 minutes! Unfortunately the songs lack the magic of Roja, Bombay or even a Guru and are exceedingly forgettable.

So in the end, all you are left with is some absolutely stunning visions caught on camera, a feeling of regret about what might have been, a headache and a burning curiosity about why all the mud packs!!!

P.S
For those curious to know how it compares to the other remake of epic proportions, Rajneeti - here is my take on it - Jha's remake is quite the opposite of Mani Rathnam's - he tries to over simplify a complex epic while Mani Rathnam attempts exactly the opposite and that is commendable. However, the latter goes bust because of bad acting, worse dialogues and even more pathetic storyline which doesn't capitalise his intention and the potential of the movie to the fullest.

Plus Raavan is a tale of highs and lows - stunning visuals, bad acting, some poignant scenes etc... Rajneeti on the other hand, is dead throughout, much like a life support with the plug pulled out!!!

Sleeping like a baby......

A few weeks back, a friend, a fellow aficionado of horror movies, tried to persuade me to borrow a DVD for "Paranormal Activity" and watch it alone at night, while Vj was out of town. Till some months back, I would have jumped at the thought of doing this; given that this was my idea of the perfect way to generate adrenalin; too bad it never led to weight loss though!

But this time around, it struck me that the thought of watching Paranormal Activity all alone in the dark, didn't cause even the slightest of tremors in my heart nor did it give rise to even the ghost of a goose bump. Wonder why??? Because there is a whole new kind of nocturnal activity that strikes terror deep into my soul these days or should I say nights; and it emanates from the 2 little cribs in my bed room! 

The creatures of the dark, who appear at night now are no longer the killer pumpkins or blood sucking witches from C grade horror movies, but my 2 little nocturnal devils - who drop their angelic guise at night and assume their Mr Hyde avatar - Count Vicula and Count Vedula!! They are more merciless and ruthless than any ghost, ghoul or poltergeist I have seen on TV and their howls can send any proud banshee to a therapist's chambers, seeking therapy for shattered self esteem! Every shuffle they make, fills me with dread & every eardrum shattering howl they emit, frightens me more than the girl from the Ring managed to!! 

My little twin terrors are indisputably blessed with sixth sense - and can sense the minute I come to bed or better still, each time I go to the washroom to freshen up for bed. Their timing is impeccable; most of the yells come exactly when I am in the shower or brushing my teeth or doing other stuff toilets are meant for! Thanks to them, my bladder control, which was anyways superb to begin with, can now win an award or two!!! 

Nevertheless, in some ways, the little Vs tend to be really considerate! Its a rare night, when both wake up to howl at the same time. After I have spent good part of an hour rocking one howling baby to bed and start to ease into mine, the second one decides its time to make an entrance! Then just as he goes back to his crib, the first wakes up again... and so it continues.... Infact our routine can teach a lesson or two in efficiency to any team training for the Olympics relay race!

Here is a sneak peek into how my nights pan out - 

My little V2, aka Count Vicula, also known as His Royal Fussiness, hates his baby rocking chair and hates to see anybody other than his chief slave - Moi - when he wakes up. I believe that is because he realises he has trained me sufficiently in his nocturnal routine and thinks I do such a great job, rocking and singing to him, he has no use for anyone else! Count Vicula is also on a spree every night - to collect frequent awakening points; which basically translates into the following routine - each time I put him back in his crib, he wakes up promptly within five minutes and starts howling all over again! So my stint with him is spent doing 2 activities - one, carrying him back and forth from one room to another, and second, rocking him in the rocking chair. 

Rocking & singing in my rocking chair - sounds so beautiful doesn't it??? Well let me tell you that its not as romantic as it sounds! For one, rocking for hours makes the calf muscles feel cramped and look over-developed. Moreover after an hour of rocking, you start losing sensation in your butt, even if it is more than well protected with layers of adipose like mine! And then try singing at 3 am when even your larynx cries out for sleep! All you get then is a croak! And you feel madly jealous of Brother John because you keep asking him the same question over and over again "Are you sleeping, brother John?"!

So here I am an hour or so into rocking and trying to croak the ode to Brother John and his sleep, when I feel a sharp pain in my shoulder! Turns out, Count Vicula has decided to take his brand new teeth on a test run; reminding me of the program I saw on Discovery where a shark takes a bite out of a surfer just out of sheer curiosity!! My sharp yell of protest is greeted with a genuine scream of delight! And then the game hots up - a few more bites are attempted, I squeal a bit louder, he thinks the nocturnal games are far more fun than the ones he gets to play during the day!!

Count Vedula (V1 by day), emerges far less often. But that just makes him far more dangerous as his visits are far longer and more testing! And being the force of nature that he is, he doesn't wake with a screech or a whine but a deafening roar that can even wake the people who live above and below us! So I rush to take him out of the room before his yells can wake up his sleeping brother and perch myself again on the rocking chair. And once again, I start my musical conversation with brother John. Count Vedula, in the meantime, the thinker that he is, spends the entire time, staring at the air conditioner, and very thoughtfully goes "Hmmm......." every 5 minutes. Or if he is in a more playful mood, he smiles and utters "Beep"!!! (the only word he can say - learnt after listening to the voice mail on his daddy's phone asking us to leave a message after the Beep!) after every song I have croaked out!!

And just when you think my cup runneth over, think again!!! Did I mention that during all this, there is also a 3rd V, the dad, belting out back seat parenting lessons as I go in a game of musical cribs, from one baby to the other!! "Feed him milk", "pick him up", "give him water", "give him colic", "go, go, go"!!! Sometimes he makes me seriously wonder if snapping under pressure due to non stop backseat parenting can be used a as a valid defence in trials, just like PMS!!! 

Thus, at the end of each night, the one feeling more Undead than the Transylvanian Count himself is ME! So, any reason why I should fear him or his minions???? Now the only thing that scares me is the phrase "sleeping like a baby"!!!! 

P.S 

Went to bed this morning at 5 in the am! My little Vicula seemed to have decided that he will take a day off, presumably to be back to his nocturnal trysts with a bang!. But before I could say Hallelujah, I realised that the boys must have reached some sort of a deal where Veduboy magnanimously offered to cover his own shift and fill in for his brother as well, waking up every 15 minutes last night!!!! 

But last night, he decided to entertain me for a change, so every song I croaked out was accompanied by Vedant's newly picked up, near perfect imitation of a bullfrog!! And as for me, his one toothed smile at his own antics made me forget every single thing I learnt from watching every Super nanny episode available on youtube and I broke into peals of laughter. That was all the encouragement needed for the entertainer in him to break free. So he did a few more impersonations and we carried on giggling till daybreak arrived and it was time for Count Vedula to be back in his crib and for me to drag my sleep deprived body to mine!

Fools rush in...

Imagine a totally tone deaf person, me for instance, attempting to belt out a classic immortalised by Whitney Houston or Celine Dion. Just how bad am I? Hell, dogs usually howl when I sing!! Now, for lack of a better example, thats exactly how you would cringe if you watch Rajneeti after having read the Mahabharata or even watched the Sunday morning version of it on TV.

By itself, Rajneeti is not as bad as some offers that get spewed out of Bollywood (read RGV's Aag, Tashan, Drona, Blue, Himmesss bhai's movies ...... you get the picture!). Other than a loose storyline that takes forever to build up, a pace that slacks once in a while and some wooden performances, it actually is far more bearable than the Tashans and the Dronas I have endured & the Aags I have never dared experience. I seem to find many who have been bowled over by its star cast, its grand scale and by the HQ (Hotness Quotient) of its key actors. Why do they come out raving about the movie? I am not sure but lets look at it this way - if there can exist people who enjoy watching a classic mutilated and turned it into a remix with scantily clad, gyrating nymphets, who are willing to pay to watch Himmesss bhai in action, or women who want to lip lock with Emraan Hashmi, anything is possible!! After all, this is the Age of Kali (Kaliyug) isn't it!!! Anyways to be fair, it is difficult for the brain to function when you are gaping open mouthed at Arjun Rampal or Ranbir Kapoor!! 

Nevertheless, take away all that fru fru & blind yourself to the temptation of the HQ, and all you are left with is a shoddy, juvenile, half baked attempt at aping an immortal epic that has endured for centuries. And what is key to the movie's downfall is the fact that the director tries to be clever and instead of sticking to his stronghold - politics in BIMARU land, decides to venture on his own version of the flight of Icarus - by making an ambitious attempt at weaving in strains of 2 epics - the Mahabharata and the Godfather, into his movie. And in attempting to do so, Mr Jha falls flat on his face making the movie neither a horrifying expose of Indian politics (on a tangent, the title of Expose King thus remains firmly placed on Madhur Bhandarkar's head) nor a complex tale of ambitions like the Mahabharata - infact in his lingo, this would literally be a "dhobi ka kutta, na ghar ka, na ghat ka"!!

His canvas lacks the vision and expansiveness of Peter Jackson's LOTR; he is sadly wanting in his grasp of finer nuances & subtexts that Vishal Bharadwaj brings to his brilliant adaptations of the Bard and he lacks the focus & incisiveness that Shyam Benegal brought to his classic adaptation of the Mahabharat, Kalyug. He is totally out of his depth and completely misses out on the complexities of the epic, the sub texts within sub texts, his characters are weakly drawn and fail to elicit the sympathy, hatred or pity. For instance, his mish mash of Bhishma cum Krishna doesn't convey the former's anguish as a man burdened by the responsibilities that force him to do what he loathes nor does he convey Krishna's wisdom, his guile and puppeteering. He even manages to reduce the greatest tragic hero of our country, our own desi Heathcliff (No its not Devdas but Karna) into a bumbling, snorting bull in a political china shop! Infact the scene where his Kunti meets Karna, one of the most moving scenes in the epic, is greeted with loud guffawing in the theatre!!! Compare that to Shashi Kapoor's descent into his own personal hell after becoming aware of the tragedy of his birth or even that of Karna in the pop version of Mahabharata by Chitra Banerjee Devakaruni - Palace of Illusions, and you understand what I mean! 

But my biggest issue with Mr Jha is regarding the (non existent) character of Draupadi - was a wooden Katrina playing a wannabe Gandhi the best you could do to portray a woman whose anger and pride and desire for revenge caused the bloodbath that ended an entire race and era???? 

On the cast, the one bright spot is some superb acting by Manoj Bajpai whose Duryodhana was the only character I felt for in the whole movie!!! Ranbir Kapoor is cute and acts well, but Arjun he is not!!! Arjun Rampal tries really hard to be the hot headed, all brawn, no brains Bheem and one should give him an A just for effort and HQ! Katrina is as wooden as ever, no surprises there!!! Nana Patekar, smirking every 5 seconds doesn't make you a Machiavellian Krishna. Now before this post turns into a meandering, long winded replica of the movie it is supposed to review, I shall call it a day, rather a night, leaving behind my two bit advice for Mr Jha - "only fools rush in where angels fear to tread"; so in future, kindly refrain from such ambitious flights of fancy and leave the task of adaptations to the undisputed master - Vishal Bharadwaj!!!!

The first step!

“If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.”
~ Cheshire cat, Alice in Wonderland.

Can think of no better way to sum up how I feel, typing out my very first post. 
The good part is that I have finally managed to overcome chronic & possibly genetic indolence (I am a Bong and a Palit after all!) and self doubt to stick my toe out & place it on the road I should have been walking (I leave the running to the marathoner husband of mine!) on aeons back.

However, am still fence sitting on what I want my posts to be about, which is ironic given how much time an obsessive planner like me spends on planning holidays, entertaining, weight loss et al-with excel sheets, time tables and color codings!!

So have decided that since I really don't know where I want this to go; much like the state of my life in general and since what I seek is the joy of self expression, will forget the goal and focus on the journey that's Life.

Thus this shall be a chronicle of the mundane and not so mundane aspects of my existence, of its highs and lows & of things, of matters and people who matter to me ..... Sounds terribly conceited & pompous, doesn't it?? But then, am I the only self absorbed ranter out there, who thinks the world cant get enough of his/ her two bit opinion??? Of course not; show me any blogger, I will show you a narcissist! :)

Anyways, to cut a long story short, I envisage this as a compilation of rantings of a self absorbed, opinionated, sleep deprived person, attempting to make sense of a chaotic life with 2 little babies, each of whom can put the Energiser bunny to shame. Which is why decided to name it 'Rainbows & Cloud bursts', both of which are, metaphorically, now a regular fixture in my everyday life! (you didn't by any chance think this was an ode to the Singapore weather, did you?)

Finally with a big Thank you to all my friends whose constant encouragement has finally been the tipping point in making me embark on this journey, I end my very first post!

For in the end, lies a new beginning!!! Terribly corny but what the hell! :)