Of health and (loss of) wealth....

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"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do, without destroying the health of the mind" ~ G.K. Chesterton

Growing up, you keep hearing the same refrain of "Health is wealth"! But ever wondered how much of it is really true??? A couple of days back, came across a very interesting NY Times article, which talked about how leading a healthy lifestyle may work wonders for your health, but not so for your wallet! Click here for the NY Times article

And of late, in my quest to finally get serious about a healthy lifestyle (yes, yes for the n+1th time), I discover how this holds more and more true! So here is the story of my quest for health and the resultant loss of wealth!

It all began when I re-read the Secret. I came across this interesting little paragraph on losing weight. It said, stop focussing on your weight. Think of your ideal weight and eat what you want. Okay, it may not have said it in exactly those words, but my ecstatic brain looking for any excuse to latch on to, reads it as "eat as much as you want and tell yourself your weight is ideal" and is overjoyed! "Bad idea" and "Don't think it will ever work" says everyone else when I share this brilliant discovery with them. "Don't be so negative" and "I shall prove you wrong" I say brimming with confidence and enthusiasm that could have spawned a few Nike "Just do it" commercials! Well, to cut a long story short, turns out everyone else was right after all! After about 2months of adopting this philosophy, my weight shoots up to an all time high and along with it comes some unwarranted health problems. 

So, I go to this doctor, who comes highly recommended. She is in this swanky clinic that serves almonds in bowls to patients while everyone else serves candy! I am mighty impressed. Then comes the meeting.....

She takes one look at me and my weight and decides rather than a doctor, I need a mother confessor, nutritionist and therapist all rolled into one. So the first session, she just prescribes some tests and then proceeds to spend over 45 minutes talking to me about my life and my feelings! "What bloody nonsense! Why doesn't she just stick to her job and examine you like doctors are supposed to?" says Vj, all annoyed with this 'feeling' nonsense, as he calls it! "Shush! She is different. She must be really good" I say, with satisfaction of one who just spent a good part of an hour speaking about her favourite topic, HERSELF!

Well, the euphoria only lasts till the bill comes along. After landing us a bill that would have certainly given me a heart attack, had I not been covered by insurance, she also does something interesting - she gives me this beautiful book called 'When Food is Love' by Geneen Roth. And charges me S$35 for the book which Amazon sells at USD $10! "Its better getting it at the clinic than going to a bookshop and looking for it. Who knows if you will find it there", I think as I try to justify to myself that I am not really a sucker. But that's the first time I begin to grasp that health comes at a price, and a high one at that!

Anyway the good news is that she has managed to scare me into going into this religious regimen of exercising and healthy eating. So I start my long and arduous quest by doing something I excel - making time tables and plans! Once the food plan for the week is made, I go looking for healthy foods. Out goes the fried pork and deep fried cuttle fish from Irwin. In comes the fruits and vegetables - guavas, apricots, prunes, cherries, strawberries, broccoli, asparagus and celery, snow peas and bean sprouts; things I would avoid with a bargepole, otherwise! Suddenly my monthly shopping budget is more than the peanut like salary I got paid as a Sr. Brand Planning Director in Lowe! And I learn another thing - that the meagre savings in my bank must have happened by eating unhealthy in the past!!!!

Any way one makes sacrifices for health, I say and go looking for the right 'grains'. Gluten free, unpolished and starch free is what they need to be. And there are only 2 such contenders - Wild rice and Quinoa. Turns out, apparently none of us rice producing nations in Asia, spend too much time thinking of health and so none of us produce any of these. Only the wise Indians in America (not the desi variety but the Aborigines of the land) with the wisdom that comes from being one with Nature for centuries, have been cultivating this crop which now is available only in select supermarkets. 

After spending hours on Google, searching for outlets in Singapore, I go to this really fancy, health obsessed outlet called Brown Rice Paradise. Quinoa costs about $6 for a half kg pack while Wild rice, hold your breath, is $12 for a 200gm pack!!!! Now I begin to grasp the true meaning of diet food; its true power lies not in its fibre or non gluten content but in the fact that it is so expensive that just looking at the price puts you off eating, thereby making you automatically lose weight! Grudgingly, I buy a tiny pack of Wild rice and some Quinoa and unpolished rice at $8 for a kg. Then as I come out, on impulse I decide to check the supermarket, 2 floors below. And guess what! It has the same unpolished rice that I just bought, for less than half the price!! Yes, the same brand and same variety!! Looks like other than losing money, being made a sucker day in and day out, is one of the occupational hazards of seeking a healthy lifestyle! WTH!!! 

I am furious. I rave and rant and feel like clambering off the health wagon at high speed! The internal sensors, watchful for this event, go off on red alert!! No!!!!! You have just started. You can't give up this easy!!! Take a deep breath. No!! No!!! What are you doing?? You can't go searching for Haldiram bhujias at this point! Wasn't that what the book (you know the one you bought for a $25 premium) all about??? So what does one do to feel better? Simple! Shopping of course! And so there goes some more of the husband's salary, into keeping Dorothy Perkins and Marks & Spencer afloat!

Then comes a second meeting with the doctor, this time to discuss the result of the very expensive blood tests she ordered. Gone are the days when the doctor said goodbye and good riddance to you if there was nothing wrong with your tests. Instead she says, "Dahling!! You need to do a Hoffman, to get rid of all the baggage and feel like a whole different person!"

"What on earth is that?" I ask wondering if its a cross between cosmetic surgery and weight loss.

"Oh it is a workshop, its expensive but sooooo worth it"

"Weight loss?" I ask again, hoping to get clarity.

"Oh no, its for holistic healing of your soul and body. Costs about $5000"

WHAT??? I had to exercise all my willpower to stop my jaw from dropping in horror!

But is this the end? No, wait there is more to come!

Apparently I also need to get on health supplements to make myself healthier! And then she prescribes not one but 7!!! 

I am horror struck. 

Seven!!! Do those expensive fruits and vegetables give me nothing useful, I wonder.

"Why so many" I ask. 

"I take about 50 a day", she says. "So 7's a really small number, sweetie", she says!

All I can think of is that if she charged me 25$ extra for one book, I wonder how much premium she would have charged on 7 supplements!

I am fuming by now! I must have dollar signs written all over me, I think! But I am unemployed and I distinctly remember telling her so. And I do not at all dress like any of the LV or Gucci toting glitterati set that seem to be frequenting her clinic, so I couldn't have given her the wrong impression that I am moneyed. So maybe I just look like a sucker! I must have have a giant sign on my forehead that says "Moron on the loose. Grab your share NOW!"

Then I remember the Bengali phrase my mother loves to repeat "The bald man never sits twice under the wood apple tree" (loosely translated 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me'). So I calm myself, take her prescription and leave. And tell her pharmacist, I don't intend to take the supplements from her but look for it in a shop of my choosing. 

Having done that, I feel better, empowered even! I smile and tell myself, "Attagirl, now you have saved yourself some serious money!" And I promise myself that if I continue to keep up with the exercise and diet for 2 months, I shall utilise the money I saved, by buying myself an expensive painting or the Chinese lacquer cabinet I had been eyeing for so long! After all, no good deed should go unrewarded!! 

Meanwhile, poor Vj can go crying all the way to the bank!