The short stint at school!

We went to school for exactly 2 (half) days. And since then, three weeks have passed and we have been everywhere but to school! Those who know me well, would ask here, "So,what's new?"

Vj with the Vs in their first school!

Come to think of it, life changed radically the day I stepped out of home into life in a hostel & discovered that living away from one's parents comes with the benefit of no one shaking you awake in the morning & then forcing you to get ready & spend the day in the dullest of surroundings. Since then my college and MBA days have been a nebulous haze of bunking classes & maximising the benefits of this fantastic concept called 'attendance by proxy' and every once in a while, wandering off to class to catch up on some long overdue sleep. And as a pathetic example of what every responsible elder sister should not do, I have stood outside my sisters' classrooms on multiple occasions and instigated them to run away from class so we could go catch a movie! 

So what's so special about bunking this time, that it needs a whole post dedicated to it? Well this time I have not been bunking just any class. This time it is the Vs who are/ were going to school and that is what we have been bunking these last 3 weeks!!

Shocking!!! And how utterly, totally pathetic!! Not only am I a disgrace to the Mother India image, I don't even qualify to wash the "Charan kamal" (lotus feet) of the kiasu high Indian mommy!! I don't cook fresh food everyday, I teach the boys to splash in puddles & arrange flowers & play with fish out of my fridge when everyone is busy teaching their kids the alphabet and colors and now I make them bunk school!!! 

I wonder if the Vs, as a way of the Universe rectifying its own imbalance, will turn out to be the pain in the ass, diligent sort like my youngest sis, who would refuse to join me in any of my shenanigans that involved bunking classes! 

Anyway the post is supposedly about the Vs first attempt at school and not about their mommy and her nostalgia about the good wild days so we shall grudgingly leave that behind and get down to the tale in the present. 

As Gloria, our nanny was off to the Philippines for a holiday, we decided to do something to keep the Vs occupied in the mornings when she takes them to the playground. One of the options that came up was trying a school. Vj was a great advocate of this, pun unintended, school of thought. "We are shifting to a new city in a month - it will be a new place, new people, new climate. The Vs will have lots to adjust to without having to deal with adjusting to a new concept called school as well. Better let them get used to it here itself, so it doesn't come as a shock to them", he said. Made perfect sense, as Vj always does! 

So I asked a friend of mine and she introduced me to her daughter's Montessori teacher who was extremely kind and sweet enough to let us send the Vs for 3 sessions only, with the understanding that if they seemed okay with the concept, we would make it a regular event till we leave for UK. 

After the classes were arranged without a hitch, I started developing cold feet (I like to call it ESP in this case). Somehow the whole idea seemed like a not very good one... now the Vs haven't been alone or unaccompanied ever! And at 22 months, I thought they were just too young to start school. 

"Don't fret" said friends, "they will be fine. They are quite social and they will fit right in". And then came the argument that you get used to listening to even in your sleep, when you have twins, "After all there are 2 of them, they will look out for each other". And while I hemmed and hawed and tried to undo this development, Vj held his ground. So off we went to school, my qualms notwithstanding! 

I didn't get much sleep all night. The Vs were told many bed time tales of how much fun kids have at school. I carried a book to make sure I had enough to do while I sat outside waiting for them like the typical Bengali mother.

But nothing you do or plan, prepares you for that moment when your kid takes that first step away from you, into a whole new world which you are not a part of. So as the Vs walked in without even a whimper, there started building within me a pang that I couldn't place - was it sadness or was it relief? Well whatever it was, it lasted all of 15 seconds! As soon as the teacher shut the door, V2 started bawling "Maamy, Maamy"... So all the budding and bubbling pangs were shoved deep down by another overpowering emotion - the need to run in and tell him I was very much there. 

But that was not allowed. So I sat there, helpless, listening to my son cry his heart out, and I could feel tears welling up in mine. I, who am so proud of the fact that I don't shed tears like most women do. I, who never shed a tear, even on reading the Kite Runner. I, who never shed a tear even after watching Life is beautiful. I, who hates to see people crying and making public spectacles of themselves, sat there with tears streaming down my eyes!!!

"This is a very, very bad idea" I said as I glared malevolently at Vj who took one look at me, assessed the situation & decided that scooting away from the place was the best way to live to see another day. As I sat weeping and debating whether I should stage a walk in and rescue the Vs at this stage, in walked my friend U, whose daughter N, goes to the same school and who the Vs are extremely fond of. 

"Look after the boys" I told N, who the angel that she is, nodded understandingly and in great empathy! Her mother now, was not so empathetic. "Don't be ridiculous" she said. "You cannot sit here the whole morning waiting for them!". And as I started bawling, she, sensible woman that she is, dragged me out to do what normally would have taken my mind off the worst of predicaments - an all carb breakfast and some shopping! 

Only this time feeling incredibly guilty, I ended up splurging on the boys while looking surreptitiously at the clock to see if it was time to go back and rescue them. Finally time dragged by and it was time for me to pick them up. As I reached, out rushed the Vs bawling their eyes and heart out.

And then started the tear fest that would have made even KJo of the oh-so-soppy movies so envious, were he to witness our performance! The Vs ran into my arms, clung to me like the proverbial drowning men clutching a straw and howled some more. I clung to them and howled back. Vj stood there looking sheepish and pretending not to know us. Other people around grinned amusedly, obviously enjoying the whole drama. 

Then out came teacher to tell me that the boys hadn't eaten or drunk anything since morning! In fact they wouldn't even let her touch them to change their diapers! Things took a whole turn for the worse after we come home. The Vs started to wake up from their sleep howling for me. They burst into tears if I so much as went out of their eyesight, even if it was to the loo. This 'need to cling' was a whole new phenomenon we had never encountered before. 

"The boys were very traumatised by the school" I told Vj.

"Nonsense" says my hubby whose sensitivity never ceases to amaze me, "They must have gas. Put some gas medication in their milk" !!!???!!!! 

Yes!! But I married the man so I try not to judge him as that means asking difficult questions about my own intellect and sanity! ;-(

But we agreed to give school one more shot. Day 1 is traumatic for every child, it will get better with time - everyone tells me, and thus we trudge back again. This time, V1 seemed to be happy walking in with his friend N, while V2 fussed again. So Vj sat with them for about an hr to make them feel more at home, as my friend U dragged me away yet again for some more carb loading and shopping. But at the end of school day, it was the same story again - again no food had been eaten and no water or juice drunk. After school, both boys promptly fell sick and stayed sick for the next 2 and 1/2 weeks, conveniently taking care of the question of whether to continue sending them to the same school or not.

Even though the question is hypothetical right now, with the boys continuing to be sick and the move happening in the next 1 week, the issue is soon going to come up again in a couple of months when the Vs start going to a school in our next destination, London.

I've had enough! There is no point putting them through so much trauma. If only we can find some less traumatic option! (And no, I don't mean home school!!!) I loathe to see my two normally happy and friendly boys suddenly become clingy, whiny and afraid! It breaks my heart to have to reassure them that I am not leaving them and going off somewhere.

Then I discover from a few friends, this whole new concept of accompanied play schools where the objective is to make the transition easier and less scary for the child. 

Now as I sit googling for accompanied play schools near our new home, I find my hubby tell my sons who still are going through separation anxiety, "if you don't listen to me, I will send you back to school"!!!

Like I said, Vj's sensitivity never ceases to amaze me!!! ;-)))

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Vj with the Vs, at the zoo, pointing to a Hippo - "Look that's a Rhino"!! 

Me wondering how he managed to pass school, "NOOOOOOOOO!! That's a hippo!"

Vj with a deadpan expression, "Its all the same"

Me, full of scorn that comes with scoring 96% in your school finals in the subject, "What are you saying? How much did u get in Biology?"

Vj with the dogged determination that comes from running marathons, "They are from the same family"

Me rolling my eyes heavenwards, "And what family is that??"

Vj, "Its called the Large Animal Family"!!!

I am speechless! I give up!

Between a mom who makes them bunk school and a dad who can't tell his hippo from his rhino, school is likely to be a cake walk for our sons as compared to dealing with daddy and mommy!