Now who's the boss here???

The Vs have been running amok like 2 caffeine charged missiles on the loose. Every single day I break up about 50 odd fights. 

V1 wants to see dolphins & horses on the Sound Touch App on my iPad. V2, the hero in the making that he is, will only see motorcycles. So, V2 switches off the iPad each time V1 puts on the horses…. And so we fight…..

V2 snatches away V1’s play dough. V1 head butts V2 who in turn kicks him in the head. And so we fight…..

V1 attacks V2’s share of the grapes after finishing his own …. V2 retaliates by taking a bite of V1's butt… and so we fight…. 

V1 and V2 take turns at playing elephants…. Suddenly the playful romp has turned into a WWF wrestling bout accompanied by screaming and tears….. And so we fight…. 

V2 .... well V2 being V2, kicks V1 just for the heck of it....…. And so we….
Oh dash it all, you do get the picture, don't you?

Thus, after yelling about a thousand “NO”s a day in different pitch levels and feeling like a mentally bruised and battered referee of a boxing match, I reach the end of my patience levels, wag my finger like mad and yell "Noooooooooooo!!!!" 

Unfortunately, for me, this doesn't cause any terror. Instead it moves in a direction totally removed from the one I had intended! Before long all the boys in my life have developed my action into a game where in each goes wagging his finger at the other, accompanied by a near perfect imitation of me going “Nooooo”!

And if that wasn't humiliating enough, the Vs thrilled with the success of this new game, take it a notch further and start attempting to discipline every adult human being they meet in public places, wagging their little fingers and going "Noooo" !!! 

After a few such embarrassing episodes in public, I come to the conclusion that when it comes to sending shivers down people's spines, I am no female Jack Nicholson from Shining! Now whatever my faults, I am a quick learner and to top it, am gifted with a near genius IQ. So I quickly do a volte face and decide to bring in the expert, or at the very least her technique; the very technique that managed to tame even the most out of control child in every single Super Nanny episode - the very successful “Naughty corner”!

Now it’s no surprise that V2 being the bully and the naughtier one, gets to be the chosen one on whom I get to experiment this technique on first. 

V2 kicks V1 again. This time I don’t repeat, “Say Sorry” like parrot stuck in a time warp. Instead, brimming with the confidence that comes from having watched 5 seasons of SN, I pick V2 and put him on a chair and in true Super Nanny style, parrot out, “I told you not to kick Bhai but you didn’t listen. So you get punished. You sit in this naughty corner now!” 

I can tell V2 is foxed. He is trying to gauge how this impacts his existence in the next few minutes. How can just sitting somewhere be a punishment? So he decides to test waters tentatively in true V2 style by flashing me one of his irresistible crooked grins. And then seeing I don’t react, he gets more adventurous and decides to show me how he can jump off the chair. I wait for him to finish jumping off and then put him back calmly, and repeat the whole talk about the punishment, all the while mentally patting myself on the back for being unruffled through it all. 

By now V2 realises something is very wrong. What is the fun sitting on a chair if you can’t jump off it? Maybe the mother is confused, he thinks and tries again. Same result. Now he gets mad and starts screaming “Kickh Maamy, Kickh Maamy” going so far as to land one on my shin. I raise my eyebrow and in my sternest voice tell him that this only makes it worse, so he is sitting there longer. V2 starts crying. For a change, I don't relent. Then comes his fake cough that always manages to defeat me. This time the stubborn Taurean in me digs in her heels and not give in as always. V2 finally gives up. After what seems like ages, a minute and half finally gets over. I ask him for an apology, which he provides very promptly and the episode seems a huge success!!! 

Now after this hugely successful experiment, I am overflowing with confidence. So the next time V2 kicks V1, I don't hesitate even for a second before I take him to the ‘naughty corner’ to sit it out. But hey, didn’t someone once say something about “Pride has a fall, for all?”. Flushed with success, I seem to have grossly underestimated V2 and his razor sharp brain! 

So as I put V2 down and start my lecture all over again, “plonk” lands a kiss on me. And then another. And yet another. And a few hugs. And some more kisses thrown in for good measure. No one can fault V2 for his generosity. As waves of some warm gooey feeling sweep all over me, V2 cunningly unleashes his final trump card. Once he is sure I am in the same boat as a polar cap dissipating under global warming, he flashes another one of those irresistible smiles and asks, “Down”? 

The thawing stops midway. It hits me with the force of an Equatorial thunder shower that I have been played! And that too by a toddler who is not yet 2! And to make matters worse, suddenly I have this uncontrollable urge to laugh! So before I can do any further damage and destroy whatever little authority I have left, I excuse myself and run out of the room. 

And therein ends the story of my short lived brush with the naughty corner; an initial stroke of beginner's luck followed by a degeneration down the learning curve into a full blown mishap!

Just when you think my cup runneth over, think again!! Starting this morning, V1 who is yet to experience the naughty corner thanks to his (relatively) calmer disposition, has started feeling he is missing out on something really important. So at every conceivable opportunity, he looks hopefully at me, points to the naughty corner and asks, “Corner pliss?”. Each time I raise my voice in warning, each time I say "No", V1 is there, to look at me with his huge puppy eyes and beg, “Corner pliss?” !!! 

Oh dear God in Super-nanny heaven, what am I doing wrong?? The Vs find every threat I dish out about as attractive as a day at Disneyland! :( 

But hang on, all is not completely lost! At least not yet! The naughty corner may need some serious re-working, but for the time being I have found the perfect Boogeyman!

No, its not school! Its not a he, its not a she, its not a what either! So what on earth is this mysterious and terrifying entity that has successfully managed to scare my two little terrors when I failed? 

Well, it’s a Mosquito!! Yes you read right! Yes, my 2 very phirangi babies are petrified of mosquitoes. Each time they even imagine seeing one, I have to go clapping for the next half hr to assure them that the threat is annihilated once and for all! 

So ever since I have discovered this Achilles heel, I am in seventh heaven! Now if I don’t want them to go touch a cupboard, sneak into a corner or try pull out a plant in the garden, all I need to mention is the M word. And then patiently wait and watch the Vs scoot back to the safety of their mosquito free surroundings! :