Confessions of a Book-a-holic

“Be awesome! Be a book nut!” — Dr. Seuss

Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved to read.  She wasn't very outgoing or social or sporty.  Her world, instead, revolved around books. 

When her sisters and friends were out playing or cycling, she sat in a corner of the garden, reading furiously. When she had a book in her hand, the world she lived in ceased to exist; replaced by something far more beautiful, mysterious, adventurous and magical.

By the time she was 8, she was borrowing books from 3 libraries in the little town she lived in. 

At times she got into trouble because of her reading, like the time her Dad got really angry when he caught her surreptitiously reading an Agatha Christie while pretending to be studying for the class test the next morning. There were times when people called her unsocial, snooty or just plain weird. None of that ever dampened her love affair with her books.

She grew older, went to college and then moved to a big city. She started working and living on her own, but her love for reading only grew stronger.

After all, she could now afford to buy as many books as she wanted!

When her mother visited her in the big city, she found her daughter spending every free minute and hour of her day and her weekends, crawled up in bed with a book. "This is unhealthy. You need a life" she said and went promptly dragged her daughter to the market and made her buy a TV. 

Slowly the TV started taking up more and more time, as did the new boyfriend. 

She got married, worked crazy hours, travelled like a maniac. 

Then one day, she had little kids of her own. 

Slowly and surely, as time passed, the obsession with reading started getting weaker and weaker... 

The demands of the real world took over and her moments of escape into the world of words became fewer and fewer. If she stayed up late, it was not because the book in her hand was gripping, but because the kids were demanding to be rocked to sleep. And the days of locking herself in a room to finish a book were long gone, especially with two little tykes banging on the door, demanding they be let in. 

And after her 50 cartons and 3 trunks full of books became the hot topic of conversation for the movers, each time she moved cities and countries; she decided it was time to be more prudent about the books she added to her already brimming bookshelves. 

She still read more than most people but not as much as she wished she could. And she still could never walk by a bookshop without rushing in and picking up and few and adding them to her ever growing collection because somehow the Kindles and the iBooks of the world, could never replace the feel, the look, the touch and the smell of a "real book".

Still, in her heart she knew.
The bookaholic in her was slowly but surely losing out..
If things continued the way they were, she would soon be on the verge of extinction.

And then one morning, she got a call from the Library. 

"The two books you have reserved have become available. When would you like to come and pick them up?" the man asked. 

"Really?" she wanted to jump with joy. 

She had been waiting to start the 'A song of Fire and Ice' series but couldn't till the first two books became available. 

She stopped for a second to think of all the chores that needed done that day - calling the caterer and finalising snacks for the kids b'dy party, running to a few shops to hunt down the return gifts and a visit to B-I-Y to get ingredients for their b'dy cake. Each of these had been marked in red and underlined in her diary for a week now. 

Everything and more had to be done today.

She sighed and took a decision. 

Obviously, it went without saying that the more important things needed to be done first.

"Maa" she yelled. "We need to go to the library NOW. I will figure out when we can schedule all the other stuff"

The Mother of course was not fooled. 

"Ektu o bodlale na tumi. Boi-er pisach roiley"**, she shook her head in mock disapproval; after all the girl had inherited her love of reading, albeit in much more severe doses.

The book-a-holic didn't even bother to reply. 

She was busy grinning from ear to ear, thinking about A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings, which would finally be in her hand after a wait of 2 whole months! 

**Loosely translated "You haven't changed one bit. You are still the ghost lives on/ devours books"

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While writing this, I started asking myself who a book-a-holic really is? Is it someone who considers themselves really well read or has every room in their house filled with books or does it go beyond these, metamorphosing over time, from a hobby into a passion and then, into an obsession? 

As I started looking for answers, I drew out my list of a few signs that helps you recognise a book-a-holic. 

So here are my 12 signs of a book-a-holic : 

You can safely assume you are a book-a-holic when -

1. Your heart skips a few beats (and not in a good way) and your smile becomes forced, if a visitor to your home asks if they can borrow a book. How can you lend a book to a perfect stranger, when you even cringe at the thought of having to lend it to your own sister? But there are times, you just aren't able to say No but then you make a mental note to never invite that person to your house ever again! (For the sister, you end up giving her a thousand and one warnings and an equal number of reminders to make sure she returns the book on time and in the condition she borrowed it in).

2. Your New Year resolutions, instead of focussing on the weight you need to lose or the job you need to find; instead go along these lines of "I need to read atleast 2 great books a month" or "I shall not buy any more books till I have finished reading the ones on my bookshelf"

3. You have replaced your usual morning walk with an hour on the elliptical trainer, not because you want to burn more calories or lose weight faster, but because it gives you an extra hour to read a book in peace!

4. Your idea of doling out punishment to your kids involves sending them to bed without a bedtime story! Conversely, a reward for good behaviour involves reading atleast 3 stories at bedtime!

5. You learn that you can borrow 8 books from the Library at one go; but it never strikes you that there is actually an option where in you can borrow less than 8. To you it only means you need to step up your reading speed so you can finish all 8 in the requisite 3 weeks! 

6. You carry 5 books along with you when you land up for your first cricket one day international in a stadium! 

7. You spend an entire day desperately hopping from one branch of the National Library to the other just because you HAVE the urge to read your latest favourite author, Camilla Läckberg's Ice Princess NOW!!!

8. Your moods are governed by what you are reading at present - so you end up yelling at the husband because you were upset after reading the Kite Runner or there is a skip in your step because you discovered a beautiful little book called The Secret History (Donna Tartt) in the second hand bookshop you often like to visit and in your life there haven't been many gloomy days that P.G. Wodehouse hasn't been able to brighten. 

9. You feel the world has come to an end because you cannot find a way to resurrect your two oldest friends; your tattered copy of the Lord of the Rings and a Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy, and are forced to buy new copies of the same. Similar feelings of an endless void in your life, that can never be filled, had struck you when you finish reading the Millennium series and didn't know what to do next.

10. You create your very own social pecking order on the basis of what people read.... For instance, you can never ever really be friends with someone who claims to enjoy Chetan Bhagat! And you seriously evaluate your relationship with a friend because the said person couldn't stop raving about Eat, Pray, Love; a book that you found utterly disappointing and not to mention, a complete waste of time, effort and money! 

11. The only sin more unpardonable than not having read the Lord of the Rings or To Kill a Mocking bird or the Colour Purple, is not having heard of any of them! Naturally people who do not read/ like to read are, in your social pyramid, placed somewhere between those with a missing brain and those with STDs.

12. And finally, the "perfect" man of your dreams exists only inside the pages of your favourite book!

Oh well, in my case, to be fair, Gregory Peck did bring Atticus Finch to life in the movie version of To Kill a Mockingbird! 

“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.” — Lemony Snicket

Note: This is my list and so coloured by my observations. If you wish to add to it, you are most welcome to throw in your suggestions