Maid in Heaven

Maid in Heaven 

Elusive be Thy name 

When will Thou come??? 

Until then we stay undone…. 

My post today is about a journey, an odyssey of sorts ...... an odyssey that it's pilgrims consider no less noble, no less angst ridden, no less melodramatic, no less hazardous than that undertaken by Ulysses himself! 

This is about a quest to seek that that one person without whom the household comes to a complete stand still. This person may be called by many names in many cultures – maid, kaam wali bai, pembantu, domestic help, the cleaning lady etc etc.... 

No matter what you call her, you cannot overlook that one crucial fact – the well oiled, smoothly running cogs of your domestic machine grind and screech to a halt in her absence. Or if she digs in her heels and decides to show you a small trailer of just how indispensable she is to your life! 

Thankfully I have been extremely lucky to have found my Angel of Mercy. 

Our Nanny G, may have her moods and her moments, but she is, without a doubt, the axis around which our little earth rotates. 

Our Rock of Gibraltar. 

And our Ring of Fire. 

Any hint of the slightest seismic activity, any little tremor in her mood, her temperament or God forbid, her health, and the effects magnify and echo through our household like an all consuming force of destruction…. 

However this post is not about our Angel. 

This is about someone who is still searching for deliverance, still seeking her Angel of Mercy. 

These limericks have been inspired by her journey, her struggle, her angst. 

As they say in the movies – 'The following is based on real life events!' 

I decided to name this post, "Maid in Heaven". 

Maid in Heaven 

In the 'burbs of busy, bustling Mumbai, lived Mandy Sue 

She had so many chores she didn’t know what to do! 

She had a baby and a job and a house to juggle, 

So she prayed for an Angel to deliver her from this struggle! 

She was generous and considerate and thought that would be enough 

Little did she know, the search for the RIGHT ONE could be really, really rough! 

First came Sita, who was like manna from Heaven 

Things went just fine till it was month eleven! 

She seemed so capable and was a real sweet talker 

Even though she never remembered to strap the baby in the rocker! 

And then one day Sita disappeared out of the blue. 

Everyone said she ran away, but not Mandy Sue! 

She marched to the police to lodge a missing persons report 

She glared at the laughing policemen till their chuckles died in their throat. . . 

And then she was mortified to discover she was so very wrong. 

Sita the Chaste, had indeed eloped with the boyfriend; they found her on Marine Drive singing many a Bollywood song! 

Next came a poor girl who was obsessed with every form of germ 

She washed her hands so often, she made Mandy squirm. 

She was also anorexic and that further drove Mandy mad! 

When she ran away…Boy! Was Mandy glad!!! 

Then came Jenny who made no fuss with her food 

Peace reigned at home, Life suddenly felt good! 

Mandy was so thankful, she showered her with many a gift. 

So imagine her horror to find herself being given (again!!!) the short shrift! 

One would say Mandy had only herself to blame for this one! 

What did she think would happen, when she gave the help a holiday to get her passport done!!! 

It was only a matter of time before she broke Mandy’s heart 

With a job waiting in Cyprus, she was off to a flying start! 

Hurt, Mandy now looked for someone who’d appreciate all she had to offer. 

She signed up a contract and put an advance into the agency’s coffer. 

But her luck didn’t hold this time around as well. 

No. 4 never showed up on the agreed day, making Mandy pull her hair and yell!! 

Now Mandy decided to find someone less flighty, a person with a bit of root 

So, a middle aged lady with 3 grown up kids, that was Mandy’s new recruit! 

Things went okay for a day or two. 

Mandy started wondering if it was too good to be true! 

Post day three, sure enough, came a most ominous sign, 

The baby started calling the toilet, “Sandaas”** and that was just NOT fine!!! 

And finally came the woman who foxed Mandy the most! 

No.6 was in Mumbai to visit her parents; and earning extra moolah made her take on the post. 

She was great at her work and was everything Mandy could desire 

But alas, she chose to work only as a temp, and was not available for hire! 

Now Mandy waits desperately for maid number Seven 

Hoping this one shall indeed be the elusive Maid in Heaven! 

Lucky No. Seven 

We pray you are The One! 

Until then Mandy shall journey through Hell 

And her life shall stay undone…. 

Note: Art is by yours truly, done on the iPad.

P.S - ** Sandaas - low-brow, vernacular expression for the word "potty", considered crass and unrefined.