The Wonder Year....

If 2009 was the year of miracles, of all things perfectly falling into place, then 2010 was unquestionably all about a part exhilarating, part petrifying but perpetually exhausting, backbreaking ride on a roller coaster named “the Vs”. 

The year saw Vs emerge in many roles – from the hyperactive Vurricanes who turned my carefully ordered life upside down with the destructiveness of a super cyclone to a ruthless dark force that haunted my nights and left me feeling Undead – my very own Counts of Darkness – Count Vedula and Vicula. So I thought why not have a year end recap of some of my most memorable V moments from my FB updates and try rewind to relive again, through my eyes, the year of the Vs. 

~ It was a year of many new lessons – from the expected ones in patience .....

"Do not know whether to be amused or exasperated at the antics of a little boy who puked out his entire painstakingly prepared & pureed organic butternut pumpkin with rice lunch and then went on to eat an entire slice of chicken pie!!! No gag reflux there!!! "

~ To developing more unexpected skill sets that one normally would not think of before signing up for parenthood

"today mastered the art of putting mascara and eye liner with one hand while holding a squirming baby in the other!!! Next stop: performing the tightrope act in the Great Russian circus! "

"Reached a whole new pinnacle in multi tasking & brain-limb coordination - patted Vedant to sleep while rocking Vihaan's rocker with my foot; all the while singing to both!!!! "

"Now that the Vs insist on using their own 2 feet for transport & invariably tend to meander or go in opposite directions or both, am now starting to feel like a sheep dog herding errant sheep back home!"

"Today's lesson learnt - Never wear a wrap-around skirt around a toddler, and most definitely NOT around 2 toddlers, unless you want to live through the embarrassment of a wardrobe malfunction in public, caused by them pulling at it to play peekaboo!!!!!"

~To a whole new perspective on sibling dynamics ~

"The Vs have taken to questioning the logic of each other's existence - about a 100 times each day, each V points to the other & in a totally baffled manner, ask, "Thish?". And when I say "Your brother", my answer is met with looks of disbelief & displeasure & the question is repeated yet again. Have been racking my brains as to what they expect me to answer!!!"

"Didn't foresee such far reaching impact of yesterday's trip to the zoo..... V2 has now taken to carrying around a stuffed toy monkey he picked up at the gift shop & calling it 'brother'. Wonder what V1 feels about being replaced by a little simian!"

~ It was a year of many landmarks – each memorable in its own way. 

The most important one was ofcourse the 1st birthday, the planning of which caused me many a sleepless nights and tested my extreme efficiency to its fullest!

"Phew!!! Finally after some interesting highlights like wrong balloons, a furious caterer Tara ben who I totally pissed off by repeatedly calling Kantaben, the birthday cakes slipping off the table but landing safely & the kids of the entire condo gatecrashing when word went out that there was a candyfloss machine, the day is over, the boys are off to sleep & we still have food left for the entire Singapore army!!!! "

 ~ To our very first interaction as social beings - our 1st playdate

"Our very 1st attempt at becoming civilized beings - our very 1st playdate! I was more nervous than I was on my 1st date, the boys were made to listen non stop lectures on the need to behave - which meant no sticking their finger into people's noses, no pulling hair, no biting....Thankfully we had a lovely & gracious hostess in little N who seemed to bring out the best in the 2 little devils; so we had no fighting or screaming and we got invited back (thank the Lord for that!)!"

~ The most important day in every self respecting Bengali’s life – the day he/ she eats fish for the very first time!

"Took our 1st step in to the "kaalchaar" like every proud, parochial, culture obsessed Bong - we ate FISH today!!!! So what if it was an anglicised version called chowder instead of the motherland specialities of 'jhol'/ 'jhaal'/ 'kalia'; the important thing while the mother waited with bated breath, we polished off the fisssshhhhhh like true self respecting Bongs would!!" :)

~ To our first visit at church

"V1 and V2's first visit to church for Mass!! After yrs of eye rolling & muttering not too softly about my messed up luck every time was next to people with kids in flights/ movies/dinners, finally Nemesis catches up with me & get royally glared at in church after the boys try to eat the hymn books & let out blood curdling yells each time the priest spoke! Now am not sure how welcome we are now after the littlest V tried to pull the hair of a man kneeling on the pew behind us and then hit him a few times on the head when the man didn't react to his attempts at making conversation! :(("

~ And ofcourse, our very first class -

"Our first day at class!!!! And that too a singing and dancing class!!! Mommy & Daddy ran around doing the dancing & the singing while the 2boys spent the entire time in front of the mirror, kissing their own image!!!!!!!"

~ It was a year of epic battles - some with myself, some with everything I hold dear and some where Vs just beat up kids bigger than them!

"Looks like do not have to worry about the Vs being bullied for a while. Unlike few months back when a older boy kicked V2 & I had to intervene, this time at the dr's clinic when a 5yr old hit V2, he went back not once but 5times to thrash him, causing the kid to breakdown in tears! And then V1 thinking his brother must have a really good reason to hit the boy, went ahead to give him yet another thrashing" :(

"Battling XL size pangs of jealousy - after the jab of the vaccination needle, Vedant howled & wanted his aunty Gloria instead of mom! :( Thankfully my little Vihaan is pretty clear abt the food chain in the household & always sticks to the absolute top - his mommy! :) C'est la vie!! U win some, u lose some!!!"

"After 3 visits to the dr in less than a month & countless hrs of drilling in by nanny, mother & sister, the skeptic bites the dust, gives in to what she earlier called mindless, ignorant superstition & prepares kala tikka @ home & puts it on the boys! Shall make peace with self later!!!"

~ And of love affairs on a grand scale

"They Veni-ed, they Vidi-ed and they Vici-ed, as far as the Vs were concerned! Vs with the 2 PYTs they spent the entire evening, shamelessly chasing around. Was petrified that they would get slapped but the 2 utterly amused girls were sweet enough to indulge the 2 hopeless Devdases!"

~ Of tales that horrified my sensibilities

"3Vs boy band is performing Singh is King, complete with V2 slapping his chest & Vedant doing his signature head banging!! Holy Mother of God!!! Wonder how months of playing Vivaldi, Bach & Handel on one hand & Pt Ravi Shankar, Pt Hari Prasad Chaurasia & Ustad Amjad Ali Khan on the other, could have misfired so badly into this -- little baby Snoop Doggs !!!!! "

"Freaked out today @ the supermarket, when one of the little Vs attacked & bit a chunk out of a watermelon on the shelf! Discovered Vj, instead of stopping the little one, was laughing away & gleefully telling a horror stricken me how "boys will be boys"!!! Am now having visions of being a family that will soon be featured in a Supernanny episode!!"

"Had a preview of life in the boys club & did NOT like it!! Switch TV to check cable connection, Letterman's on with some blonde bombshell. 3heads instantly turn, 3sets of eyes gaze in wonder & totally forget my existence. Innocent V1 goes Ooh Oooh with mouth open & our Casanova, V2, keeps pointing at her & going Beybey Beybey (Baby)! Now him, I gotta watch; at 1, he's already aware of all types of "Beybeys"!

"No of days of waiting to get a bloody ceiling fan repaired - 5. Cost of the repair - 102 dollars!! No. of hours it takes post repair for the in-house geek V2 to fidget with the remote & blow the fuse & send it back to its Noh woking state - (just) 2!!!! Expression on harassed dad & mom's face when realise facing another week's wait and being set back another 100 dollars - Priceless!!!!!"

~ But above all, it was a year of never ending laughter ... a yr where I laughed more than I imagined possible and loved every minute of it. 

"1 wound, 4 Band-aids - 1 on V1's actual wound, 1 on a different spot to confuse him, and 2 on matching spots on V2's body, to magnify the smoke screen even further!! Now I am a master of subterfuge!! Hell, it even sounds like a movie title "Ek Ghaav, Chaar Patti"!!!"

"After a wk of missing Vj, of blowing kisses in front of his loo, of blowing kisses at his photographs, of looking for him in every room in the evenings, of calling for him in his sleep, Vj's no.1 fan is in raptures at being reunited with him & refuses to let go even for a sec! And the other V? After 2days, he decided to it was time to bring in a substitute (thinks just like his mom!) & started calling me Dadah!!!"

"Took Vj 8 whole weekends of nagging & 90 minutes of poring over instructions to fix a childproof lock on the bookshelf door ydy. Took V2 exactly 30 seconds to pull it out!!!"

"V2 is into the concept of sharing food. Today, he spent 15mins infront of Vj's loo door, holding a biscuit in each hand, calling Da-dah, Da-dah. When Da-dah didn't emerge (since he was in ofc), he started shoving the biscuits under the loo door. Leaving me wondering why this brilliant idea of shoving food under the loo door didn't hit me all those times I stood outside the door yelling for Vj to emerge!!!!!"

"Took little V2 on a "explore the Fridge" trip. Of all the things in a fully stocked fridge that a guy could pick up, he chose only an open bottle of wine. Didn't someone say "the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree" ;)"

Now as the year draws to a close, I look back at it with the pride of a survivor and the wistfulness of one who has had many a beautiful memory invested in it and pray that the coming one is just as colorful and brings with it more memories, if not more! 

So here's to a beautiful 2011. Happy New Year people!