Once upon a time, there reigned in a land called Bollywood, the all macho stud. He was a man of many talents - he was Superman, Spiderman and Batman all rolled into one. He could morph from a Disco Dancer to an Angry Young Rebel to Maa ka ladla to Aashiq Aawara at the blink of an eye. He had a heart of gold, nerves of steel and a body of titanium. His fighting skills were more potent than a Ninja's; he could single handedly decimate an entire platoon of baddies, without help and with little or no injury to himself. His rustic charms and bucolic manner sent hearts into palpitations. His mere presence on screen was enough to send grown men into a frenzy- whistling, clapping and genuflecting. Women watched him with love dripping in their eyes, and children watched him their mouths open. People worshipped the ground he walked on.... and every part of him, whether it be his gauche attire, his haircut, his dialogues, his baritone, his dance moves, his habit of flicking his cigarette, each created a cult following of its own.
And then one day, he was no longer in demand - he was sadly phased out to make room for the man who painted his toe nails, wore his wife's thongs (or atleast enthusiastically colour coordinated with her), was in sync with his inner feelings, competed with his other half for closet space and spent his time & moolah on designer wear and Dead sea mud wraps. The Metrosexual male had arrived and his arrival made the Alpha male obsolete. He became the Archie who made his rival look as archaic as Big Moose. His savoir faire made his predecessor seem like a country bumpkin; his "Wassup dude" happily replaced the "Kutte, kamine main tera khoon pi jaonga" (literally translated -Dog, I shall drink your blood!) we had grown up with. Clad head to toe in designer wear, he became the poster child for Armani, Oakley and Tag Heuer. He was witty, charming and appealed to our growing cosmopolitan sensibilities. But..... (Yes there is most definitely a but here!).
But he was sadly no Superhero! Straight out of the pages of GQ, light years away from the world of the whistle blowing frenzied mobs, he was incapable of generating mass hysteria, of creating a cult of devoted followers. His fans obsessed over his hand stitched Bruno Magli shoes instead of worshipping the ground he trod on. His perfect six pack came from hours spent in the gym with a personal trainer; and while they served as eye candy, they didn't give one the goose flesh that the "dhai kilo ka haath" did. He was about as entertaining as Superman who had lost his powers, attractive but emasculated ...... and one longed for the good old days of the all powerful one man army, who beat up the baddies and set everything right single-handedly.
It is this void, this longing that Dabangg fills and fills with great panache. Salman as Chulbul Pandey, the corrupt cop with a heart of gold, the one man army whose shirt self rips at the seams, brings back the memories of the good old days of the macho alpha male, who had almost gone extinct and he does so with great flamboyance. The movie is as mindless as the Bollywood blockbusters of yore and it has exactly the same formula.
What it relies on and smartly so, is to capitalise on this nostalgia and use all the long lost elements - from Salman's peacock strut to his alpha male exploits, to weave its magic on an starved audience. And it achieves exactly what it sets out to ... its not often that one hears whistling in a theatre in order obsessed Singapore, but this movie manages to achieve that.... making us realise under our fancy degrees and clothes, we are really no different from the front bencher in a dark, dingy single theatre in Meerut or RaeBareily; and I mean this in the most positive way possible.
Having said that, I must add that while Dabangg is highly entertaining and Salman is in the role of a lifetime, his charisma and style still fall way, way short of that of the original alpha male - the Boss, the one and only Rajnikanth, the man who brings a whole new level of charisma and flamboyance to the superhero. The one and only original alpha male in Indian movies remains and will remain the undisputed king of alpha males; the only man who can and has made me go to theatres filled with rickshaw pullers and watch a movie in a language I don't speak or comprehend and still laugh my heart out and get every rupee's worth ... but then such is the magic of the Boss.... Click here to watch the Boss in action
So here is a tip - when you get nostalgic and start pining for the alpha male in Bollywood flicks, don't lose heart - all you need to do is set your sights a bit more South; the land of Tollywood and Kollywood is still overflowing with 'el machismo'.... the movies there abound with testosterone charged Boss wannabes who are good enough to make any Salman forget his strutting for a lifetime!

Awesome.. May be its time for me to see "Shivaji" again and relive that nostalgic feeling.
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