The underdog bites back!!

In the land of the lion, there live a couch potato and a marathon runner.

The marathon runner runs atleast 2 full marathons every year (each full marathon is 42.some kms for those worse off than me in the marathon awareness quotient) and lets not forget the countless shorter races he runs every other weekend. He trains long and hard every day of the week, spends every free minute on the treadmill, surfs the net for exercises to build up the calf and the quads. He keeps himself away from all vices - smoking, alcohol, carbohydrates; and counts his calories with each bite he takes. He seriously believes running to be the one and only cure for jet lag, indigestion, cold, fever, stress, bad tempers; the last one being the wife's, not his, for with that much endorphins flowing in your system, how can he ever be in a bad temper??? His sole focus is to push his body to impossible limits and show us lazy & unfit folks what "mind over matter" is all about.

Then there is the poor couch potato, who hates exercising in every form - and take it from someone in the know, she has tried EVERY possible form - aerobics, yoga, power plate, weights, cardio, pilates, aqua aerobics, Bollywood dancing, belly dancing, walking ... I could lose serious calories just listing off the types here! Poor couch potato dreams of turning her body into a lean, mean, well oiled machine but she gets so tired just by planning the exercise routine that she has to slink back to her couch to rehydrate and recuperate with a glass of much needed fermented grape juice! And try as hard as she might, to get a restraining order against those mouth watering, soul satisfying, killer carbs, they just seem to hunt her down and drag her back into their vice like grip. So imagine her heartburn when the whole world goes complimenting the marathon runner on his weight loss, his drive, his fitness levels, his dedication and discipline. And since she can't even dream of running 4kms, let alone 42, she has to sit back, gnash her teeth and listen quietly to all the lecture on mind over matter, and when her mom is around, some worse ones on her lack of discipline and dedication.

Thus it only expected that when the twins came along, people said, "Oh the marathon runner definitely has the energy & the stamina to handle them... but you.." followed by looks of doubt that left her psychologically scarred and bruised. Some rude ones even went a step further and asked her to leave the couch and hit the gym. One especially considerate one, decided to dump all subtleties, just in case they were lost on her, and gift her a dance video! And the poor couch potato in all her naivete thought, "Oh lucky me, to have a long distance runner in my team - thats exactly the kind of person I need to help me with the hyperactive twins!"

So imagine her incredulity when the "mind over matter" marathon runner flops down on the play mat after a mere fifteen minutes with the twins and calls out to her for help; when he needs 2 maids to help him play with 2 boys, one of whom hasn't even begun to walk; when after a mere hour at a play gym, he drops all plans for the weekend to sleep off the exertion!! 

Huh?? What is happening here? 

Are we talking of the same person who once ran a marathon with a flu, the very man who had to be threatened with Bandra Court to stop him from running the 84km Ultra marathon????? 

Hmmmph! Apparently we are!!!!"

And the couch potato??? 

Well, she hasn't slept uninterrupted for more than a couple of hours at a stretch, each night. Yet she goes on morning to evening, each day, making smoothies for breakfast, cooking lunch with back up options, cooking dinner with more back up options, playing every morning and afternoon with 2 hyperactive boys (alone, without the maids), takes them to the gym, dances around with them, gives them baths twice a day, puts them to bed for their naps, takes them to the pool; does all this without breaking for naps, and still finds time to play Farmville, Cafe World and write her own blog!!!!!! 

Yes, she is still the unfit, stamina-less couch potato who can barely run for 40 seconds !!!

Now at the end of this story, what do we learn? 

• That the guys who come up with definitions of 'fit' and 'unfit' are clueless, ignorant morons who have no touch with reality!!
• That running 42 kms may be all about mind over matter, but it does not prepare you for running behind twins!! That is a whole different kind of baptism by fire that has nothing to do with the perfect BMI or fat percentage or waist -hip ratio.
• And finally once again, never write off the under dog cos the 'Underdog always bites back'!!! :)

Picture : Getty Images