And yet, even though the year went by in a "blink and you shall miss it" fashion, what an eventful year this was for my 2 brats who -
- moved countries - from sunny, hot, humid Singapore to cold, wet, grey UK,
- adapted to a new time-zone & weather conditions
- started school
- learnt to ride a trike and a scooter
- and to play tennis and football
- went on day trips without Daddy and Mamma
- moved from their cribs to big boy beds
- gave up their pacifiers without a fight (makes one believe that miracles do happen!)
- got toilet trained
- became fashionistas in their own right.
- went on real holidays that involved staying in B&Bs and road trips.
- discovered the forbidden pleasures of chocolate, French fries, potato chips on one hand and grandma's momos, luchis and chicken pulao on the other....
As I start this post with no clear idea in mind as to what I want to write, I cannot but help reminisce of all that I learnt and of course, un-learnt from The Double Trouble in these last 365 days, about the great transition that is moving from Age 2 to Age 3....
I decided to be generous and share all the wisdom I gathered. So, here it goes -
1. Head first is the ONLY way to go down the stairs. Infact diving head first is the only way to do most things, be it jumping off the bed or climbing down stairs or getting off your high chair!!!
2. Every request/ command/ statement of yours will have an equal and opposite reaction - for instance,
"Come in, it's raining" is always to be interpreted as "Run as far and as fast from Mummy as you can".
But don't lose heart.
The good news is that a "Yes, please go ahead and run into the holly bush! It will be so much fun when you get a few thorns into your hands" will always ensure they stay away from the holly bush even when you are not watching!
3. No one understands Lily Tomlin's maxim of "For fast acting relief, try slowing down" better than a toddler.
You soon discover that each time you are in a hurry, your child will do everything to slow Time down. Ours usually do that by crawling. Literally. The greater the rush, the more slowly they crawl.
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| For every step forward, take three sideways and two backwards! |
In the process of getting 2 toddlers ready and moving, you will discover you have acquired skills that would get you immediate alternate employment as a prize sheep dog! But God help you, should you get fed up of the delay and scoop them in your arms and try to make a run for it, for that is when the urge to visit the toilet will strike!!
4. Talking of visits to the toilet, here is the first golden rule I learnt right after toilet training -
You will always, ALWAYS hear a "Mamma me do potty now", each time you are in the middle of an elaborate dinner or worse, you are on a motorway, with no Services sign in sight for atleast the next twenty miles.
Then this is what will happen next -
You will spend the next fifteen to twenty panic filled minutes trying to distract your child from thinking about the toilet and at the same time urging the hubby to drive faster towards the next Services pit stop. On reaching, while the hubby is still parking, you will pick your kid and sprint towards the toilet thanking every God on the planet for making it without an accident, only to hear "Mamma, me no want to do potty any more"!!! And while you are left silently fuming and trying to get your blood pressure back to normal, your child will calmly proceed to check out the candy station near the loo!
5. Discussing poo and checking the contents of one's nose are not just bona fide ways of passing time but they are extremely fascinating hobbies that can keep one occupied and engrossed for hours. So is scratching one's bum, especially when one is out in public!
6. If what you read in point no. 5 makes you run to the toilet to throw up, you need a reality check! And a higher "Eeeeeeww - Threshold", for you shall henceforth see many a sight that no doubt leave you grossed out for hours, if not for days. While I am now immune to the sight of V1 conducting regular taste tests on what he digs out of his nose, I realise I still have a long way to go after I almost fainted post watching V2 taste the pus that came out of his infected ear!
NOTE - a piece of advice here for doting uncles/ aunts who makes their weekly calls on Skype - Never appear to be offended/ horrified/ shocked when you are asked to accompany them (via the laptop/ iPad/ smart phone) to the loo for potty time - it is supposed to be an honor and a privilege; it means that you are now firmly entrenched into their list of favourite people!
7. Whilst on the topic of reality checks, here are a few more - If you are one of those who like me, said "My kids will not have their brains fried by a daily dose of T.V", chances are you will be eating your own words by the time they reach 2 and a half. You may have the strictest curfew on TV watching time (For us it's only Fireman Sam, for half an hr each morning) or you may lock the remote in the remotest of places, but you will to your horror, discover your kids know Peppa Pig, Bananas in Pajamas and the Ha Ha Hairies!
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| Whoever said a toddler has a limited attention span has obviously not seen one watch TV! |
8. Same goes for chocolate and ice-cream and French fries. No matter how late you introduce them, how much of disinterest you show for these when you give it to them, your kids will welcome these foods with the same enthusiasm a lost alien feels when he/ she has a glimpse of the Mother ship!
And yes, chocolate cereal will trump every meal you have cooked painstakingly.
9. Life will be much simpler if along with an appreciation of reality, you also develop a thick skin. Learn not to be affected by "you silly girl" or "messy donkey" or "you naughty mummy" that you will hear once your little one discovers the concept of freedom of speech!
10. Breaking things/ taking them apart is always more fun than making them!! Especially when they are things that do not belong to you! This rule is never more true than at the supermarket or a store. So stay on your guard and you may be lucky to end up with minor mishaps like having to pay only for bananas or watermelons that end up with teeth marks!
11. Sunglasses are an essential part of one's ensemble. You wear them when it rains, you wear them to the school, to the supermarket, to the park, to the beach on a windy day, to the kitchen for your meals, to the toilet and most definitely to bed, because who can predict just how annoyingly bright and sunny it might get in your dreams. Hell, you wear them everywhere except on a sunny day which is when all other fashion challenged jokers are wearing them!!!
12. Who says it's only little girls who get to play fashionistas on the loose? After all we are living in the age of David Beckham and equal opportunities! So every little boy, when he is not spitting on his own arms and legs or his brother's, apparently to keep the skin moisturised, has just as much fun playing with his mommy's expensive moisturisers, that she herself uses sparingly; has as much interest in standing in front of a full length mirror to try out her lipsticks and mascaras and in strutting about in her jewellery and handbags! Other than that, be prepared to step aside and watch him decide the clothes he wants to wear, and hold on, the ones he wants YOU to wear when you go out with him!
13. Say good bye to all your cool gadgets. Your iPhone, your iPad and any other fancy gadget you were a proud owner of, now no longer belong to you! And don't bemoan the little scratches, chocolate stains or the tiny specks of dirt, it sports these days. Just be thankful it hasn't been dunked in the bath tub or you did not have to excavate it out of the sand pit in the park!
14. Daddy is THE FUN GUY!!! No matter how many puddles you let them splash in or how well you handle that tennis racquet, Daddy will always be the fun parent, the cool parent, the one is forever welcome to "come to my paaah-ty (party)" and the man they want to grow up to be!!! Mommy, on the other hand, gets remembered only when it is bed-time, sick time, ouch-time and of course, "I have woken up in the middle of the night and need to be patted back to sleep" time!
15. Somewhere along the line you discover your son's list of priorities. This is how it goes -
Cars, balls, chocolates/ ice-cream, pigs, donkeys, goats/cows/, sunglasses.
Soft toys are henceforth to be used only as imaginary shark bait or as a replacement for your missing tennis/ foot ball.
Girls are suddenly and inexplicably relegated to the bottom of the food chain, just above babies, who are at the absolute bottom, right where you and I would slot single celled organisms!
16. If you had this secret desire to be a performer, get ready! Lady Luck is just about to make your dreams come true! Your talent shall now be in great demand as you will get called forth to play every minor, extra, villainous roles that no one else wants to do - like the troll in the 3 Billy goats, like the silly boy Norman who always gets into trouble and has to be rescued by Fireman Sam or like the monkeys in the Jungle Book, because every other role is far too interesting to be handed over to you!
17. Super heroes rule! A 2 yr old may have never seen a single episode of Spiderman, but that is who he wants to be! Like his superhero alter ego, he is equally unflinching and resolute about wanting to wear his Spiderman costume everywhere!
Never fight the Super hero!
Remember, Super heroes are invincible. But they are also extremely benevolent!
So learn to be smart and use the super hero to your advantage! I did!
The only fruit V2 would eat, and that too with a whole lot of fuss, are green grapes. Then since he associated Spiderman with the colour red, Mamma introduced him to Spiderman grapes and Spiderman apples and Spiderman watermelon! Needless to say, he has been hooked ever since! ;-)
18. Finally, in case you didn't know, the truly groovy people sleep under the bed; only uncool people sleep on it!
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